Valentine’s Day is almost here. It’s always an exciting day filled with expressions of love, adoration and affection for the object of our admiration. We often demonstrate that love by giving cards, flowers, chocolate and other gifts too numerous to mention. It’s fun! It makes our heart glad and gives us those warm, fuzzy feelings that lift our spirits and make us feel giddy. Giving is a very special and unique action that blesses the giver more than the receiver. You’ve heard it before: it’s more blessed to give than to receive. Have you ever asked why that might be true?
Since I became an exSuperwoman, I’ve learned a lot about giving. I’ve learned that I’ve been given some things that should not have been mine. Unfortunately, I did not have the choice to deny these “gifts.” These “presents” were forced upon me, and the little girl in me didn’t know she could refuse them. Now, I realize I don’t have to keep what’s not mine.
It’s more blessed to give than to receive because we give out of the abundance that’s in our heart. As a victim of incest by a brother, I was given an abundance of “gifts” that were not mine. The excruciating trauma I suffered as a result of the consistent physical, sexual and psychological abuse I received as a child produced silent screams of agony that, for years, I sought to conquer with various tools of self-destruction. There’s something quite dreadful about keeping what’s not yours. It’s like giving a baby liquor to drink or making a toddler drive a car. These “gifts” will only produce a sick child and a crash victim. These “gifts” yield a harvest of disaster and devastation for the one who should have never been given them anyway. So, it’s out of the abundance of what was in my heart that I give back what was given to me.
I’m giving back shame.
I’m giving back humiliation.
I’m giving back low self-esteem.
I’m giving back silence.
I’m giving back false beliefs.
I’m giving back negative self-talk.
I’m giving back embarrassment.
I’m giving back sorrow.
I’m giving back the burden of carrying the heavy armor that separated me from experiencing the full range of my humanity. This Valentine’s Day, I’ve decided to continue on the road to recovery and the journey to joy by giving back the gifts I never asked for.
What will you give back this Valentine’s Day? I’ll give you a start with my Valentine to you:
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Freedom is yours
If you give it to
PEACE and Chicken Grease! – Dr. Kim
Copyright 2011 by Kimberly J. Chandler