You marry at the level of your self-esteem. — Marie Osmond
That short, clear, concise sentence has been ringing in my ears for days now. I couldn’t figure it out. I’m not looking for marriage. I’m not in a relationship nor am I looking for one. However, if one comes along, I’ll consider it. Ah, that’s the rub! How will I consider the next opportunity in which I might marry?
We marry a lot of people, places, and things over the lifespan. How and why we go about doing so is a matter for consideration because our decisions tell us something significant about ourselves. Likewise, when we decide to divorce that commitment, it is very telling as well. People often suggest that a marriage or a divorce impacts their self-esteem. What this exSuperwoman has found is that my self-esteem decides what I’ll marry: who and what I choose to become bound to, committed to.
I used to think that the situations in which I found myself caused the low self-esteem I struggled with for most of my life. What I now know is that I often chose those commitments because of my self-esteem: the resulting cancer I was left with as a result of the trauma I suffered as a child of incest. The questions I was left with at the end of an experience would have served me far better had they been asked at the beginning. Why? Inherent in my questions concerning these commitments – marriage opportunities – were the answers I needed to know about the health, vitality, and quality of my self-esteem.
What is it in me that sees this opportunity as my equal?
Will what this opportunity feed me provide healthful sustenance?
Why is this opportunity deserving of me?
How does this opportunity allow me to expand my capacity for goodness, service, and love?
Is this opportunity a gift to me, for me?
Is there anything about this opportunity that will cause me to feel shame?
Would God/Higher Power/The Universe give this to Herself?
Our self-esteem is a great teacher.
What will you learn today?
PEACE and SERENITY! — Dr. KimCopyright 2011 Kimberly J. Chandler