I had an interesting conversation with a young woman yesterday. It was not the first time we talked. In fact, we talked, once again, about her issues with weight, childhood sexual abuse, joblessness, and her responsibility in creating her life. I’ve had this same conversation with this young woman numerous times. Each time, I share my experience, strength and hope as a woman who has joyfully shed her Superwoman personae. I challenge her thinking and encourage her to get help. Each time we engage in conversation, she’s taken none of my suggestions and repeats the same excuses for her lack of action. This used to be exhausting until I had a revelation during our conversation yesterday.
I often talk to people about their issues, especially abuse since I am a survivor also. But, I had a wonderful “a ha” moment that challenged my thinking during my nth conversation with this young woman: this is HER story!
We all have a unique story about ourselves that becomes the narrative by which we live our lives. Some stories are of survival. Some stories are of defeat. Whatever story we cling to will become the script from which we live our lives. That script is our belief system.
Think about your story. Who are the actors? What does the scene look like? What kinds of props are on your stage? How much do you charge others to come see your theatrical event, i.e., be a part of your story?
As an ExSuperwoman, I had to release my toxic story in order to live a healthy, peaceful life. Yes, I am an abuse survivor. I was sexually, physically, and psychologically abused during my childhood years. However, that is not the END OF MY STORY! I am also a successful academic, author and activist. I am a preacher and public speaker. I am a loving, giving, and supportive friend. My story is continuing to unfold on this journey we call life…and I LOVE IT!
What’s your story? Take a few moments, sit in silence, and listen to the tape recorder that constantly plays in your head? Now, think about what you say to yourself and others about your life. Is your story one of trials and tribulations? Or, is your story one of triumph? Even if you’re going through hell in your life right now, how do you craft the narrative of your life? Trust me when I tell you, if your life story is full of only obstacles, tragedies, and defeat, your everyday life will be full of the same. However, if your story is full of possibility, promise, and perseverance, you will live in a place of peace – no matter what’s going on from day-to-day!
PEACE and JOY! – Dr. Kim
Copyright 2011 Kimberly J. Chandler